1 Aug 2011

If I were God

I’ve always thought of myself as a fairly average sort of person and I don’t mean that in a disparaging way but my life experiences have conformed to most peoples, given that there is a wide degree of variance anyway.
Not for me unopened parachutes, lottery wins, being struck by lightning . . . I think you get the drift . . . and the reason I’m telling you all this? Well I‘ve concluded that in my Christian life the things that I feel, the problems I have and the doubts I experience will be common to the majority of Christians as we go about our daily lives. So if I tell you about myself and the insights I’ve had which have drawn me closer to God and pass them on, maybe you will be able to relate to them and if I’ve seen something that makes my walk with God, more joyous, more steadfast, more loving, then maybe you will benefit.

So, the title of this post“ If I were God” and the thoughts it produces are like a can of worms. These thoughts often sit just below our conscious thoughts, and we often suppress them because we tell ourselves that we know and believe that God’s ways are above ours, we just can’t understand everything yet. And I really, truly believe that, but . . . .I’ve found that whilst I don’t admit to myself that there are things which I would do differently “ If I were God” things that I would change, that I wouldn’t allow to happen,  then it’s like having a part of me that I hide away because it’s not acceptable to God, something I want to keep hidden because I’m frightened that if I admit it, then it will be starting on a slippery slope of doubt and I don’t know where it will end.

But over the last few years I’ve begun to see that God’s love for me is so great that I just can’t begin to appreciate it or experience it without total trust on my part that nothing I can think say or do can shock Him. In fact when I’ve got places in my heart that I keep closed off because I’m ashamed of them then, in fact,  that’s a place that I won’t let God enter and I need Him in every area of my life.

His love really is beyond measure, he loves us totally and we can trust Him completely.

Speak again soon,
Love Teresa xx :-)

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